I have nothing in common with my husband...

I have nothing in common with my husband, Glenn. He is a city boy from LA that loves video games and batman. He is a very easy going and I'm not. I NEED things to be planned out and I need there to be a plan and a plan B, sometimes a plan C too. The idea of just going with the flow stresses me out. We are about as opposite as they come. I love him and the fact that he has so many hobbies that bring him joy, they're just not my jam. 

I love reading posts/ listening to Al Carraway. Al is a Motivational Speaker and in one of her recent posts she wrote about her relationship with her husband. She said "I am a complete, whole person with out Ben [her husband]. He doesn't complete me, but WHOA, does he enhance me." I love that she so eloquently stated that it's okay to be your own person and still be together. There were times when Glenn and I were dating that I got nervous because we were so different. I wondered if we're going to have a happy marriage, but then I would remember how he encouraged me to focus on my education and support me in my responsibilities at church. Both of these things made me a better person. And because of that I felt peace in our relationship. 

I listen to a podcast called Follow Him with Hank Smith and John Bytheway.  During 2022 this podcast is talking all about the Old Testament, lets be real we all need a little extra help understanding the Old Testament. Back in early January one of the episodes was about the love story of Adam and Eve. I grew up knowing Adam and Eve were the first people on earth and they were put on the earth to be each other's help meet (aka partner). I don't know why I never thought about the relationship between them. 

In this episode of the podcast the guest speaker, Dr. Shon Hopkin talks about Adam and Eve building their relationship through conversation. And when you speak with someone you are typically looking at them face to face. "You're speaking as equals. And so if you think almost like a mirror image. Eve is his mirror image and a mirror image is similar to you but it's opposite of you. So there's this complementary nature."  I love the way he says that Adam and eve are equal but different. That's the way God created them to be. They complimented each other in a way that brought joy into their lives.

Again, Glenn and I have very little in common and because of that I feel we are able to compliment, each other very well. We are far from perfect, but we try every day to "enhance" each other everyday, so we can each be the best version of each other. 

How do you and your spouse enhance or compliment each other?

now you're speaking my (love) language

Oh Valentines day,  a day full of red and pink hearts, chocolate, flowers, and LOVE. Have you ever noticed
that the most popular ways to show love to your significant other around Valentines day is by giving gifts? I think it's interesting because not everyone feels loved by receiving or giving gifts. We all have a way we feel most loved, it's called our love language. 

The Love languages website says "The premise of The 5 Love Language book is quite simple: different people with different personalities give and receive love in different ways. By learning to recognize these preferences in yourself and in your loved ones, you can learn to identify the root of your conflicts, connect more profoundly, and truly begin to grow closer." 

So what are the 5 love languages? They are Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gift Giving, and Quality time. As we grow and change as adults our love languages may change also. When I first married Glenn my love language was definitely physical touch. I wanted him to hold my hand in public, I wanted to sit RIGHT next to him on the couch as we watched tv. I still love these things, but now I also love quality time with Glenn, even if it is just going to the grocery store together, or going on a walk in our back yard. 

Just as our own love languages shift so may the love languages of our spouses.  It's so easy to know what ours and our spouses love language is. All we have to do is take a short quiz, and if you're like me one of your guilty pleasures as a teen was completing buzz feed quizzes. This quiz is almost just like buzz feed quizzes but better!

Once you learn our own and our spouses love language you may feel one of two ways... 1) excited and ready to love your spouse more fully in a way that they receive love the most or 2) more confused than ever before.  I love this chart found on an online counseling website. It goes over what each love language IS and IS NOT. 

Another aspect of this chart that I love is that is teaches us how to communicate with our loved ones how they can love us. For the first few months on mine and Glenn's marriage he would always surprise me with small gifts, which I appreciated but I never really knew why he would randomly buy me things. I eventually realized that his love language is giving/receiving gifts. We were able to talk about it and since then we both try to make a more conscience effort to love each other in a way that we best receive love. 

Love languages don't just apply to romantic partners, they can be used between friends and other family members. So share with me what your love language is! I'm always curious to see how my loved ones feel the most loved.